If you didn’t watch Halloweentown and Hocus Pocus every Halloween, you didn’t have a childhood.
If anyone ever tells you crying doesn’t solve anything just remember the salt and chemicals in ur tears can clear acne so moral of the story is crying can solve everything as long as you rub your tears all over your face
And urine has salt in it too, so rub your pee all over your face and you’re golden.
So this little kid at church noticed I’m fat and asked me today “Why do you have a big belly?”
I couldn’t really think of an acceptable answer for that so I simply responded:
“Because I’m full of bees”
I don’t think I’ve seen a more confused and terrified child in my life as I walked away, hearing him whisper “Bees…” to himself.
i hate when people take other people’s glasses and are like ‘you have horrible vision’ like do you take wheelchairs from people and go ‘wow you have shitty legs’
Louis CK is right on point